The Maxwell Leadership Center Leadership Coaching

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things that are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to remain within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That’s really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, which is the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too far, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.