Student Leadership Coaching

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a real aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That’s really how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.