Life Coaching Ethics

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That’s really how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a job, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a result of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.