Leadership Coaching Network

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things that are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to remain in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is actually how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t want to take anythingthat particular phrase too much, you need to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.