Leadership Coaching Ireland

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a good thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a lot less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That’s really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.