Leadership Coaching Insights

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you have not, there is some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your mind and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.