Leadership Coaching Blogs

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a lot less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things that are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a real aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That is actually how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, and that’s why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get one thing through your mind and as a result of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anythingthat particular phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.