Iyanla Vanzant Life Coach School

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there’s a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and start fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is really how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.