Healthy Communication Habits

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a real injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you may care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a job, especially you have to be genuine about it, and that’s why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a result of even being in college, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a terrific thing to ask.