Hard To Have Healthy Habits With A Boyfriend

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I don’t care about that, but that is actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you may care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room just like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is really how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.