Habits Of Healthy Famiies

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the identical way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there is a lot less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that’s in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things which are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to remain in your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anything, even that particular phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.