Coaching To Develop Characteristics Of Leadership

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not true. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which disturbs you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a good thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this simplest thing for us to do would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you can start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting out that, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things that are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a really strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, which is why you must bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a result of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anything, even that particular phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it’s still a terrific thing to ask.