Coaching Servant Leadership

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it’s in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It’s something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some crap behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to think about the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be good if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it is very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your mind is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That is actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your mind and as a result of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t want to take anythingthat specific phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.