Coaching Leadership Ciris

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something that disturbs you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was somewhat less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to start.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there is a lot less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things that are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there’s this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to remain in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a title, a real aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with this goal. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you have to be genuine about it, which is why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And well, you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and do not see it.

It is like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too much, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.