Coaching Inspirational Leadership

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It is that if you don’t organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare you could find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, just like there is a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a good thing. And you know, you have not, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at the moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You fix a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through daily. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do every day. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there’s a lot less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things which are part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a very strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a real aim, it will reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is actually how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is extremely strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of this, you have all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and do not see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get 1 thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for all sorts of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anythingthat specific phrase too far, you need to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.