Coaching Authentic Leadership

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It is something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It is not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not organize yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you need to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there is a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at the moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for childbirth, this simplest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of those as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t need to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you have to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred alterations to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there’s a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then you can extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself and begin fixing up the things that are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it is very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it is you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter which is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the idea of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for 30 minutes.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your mind is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with that aim. That is really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of this, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the middle of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get one thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that is for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too much, you need to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.