Coaching And Leadershipment

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step one step backwards. The first question may be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It is that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a big way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I do not care about that, but that is actually not correct. You actually do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find somebody who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to that, and this is a phenomenological idea, too. It is something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you have to ask yourself that, right? It is not a command. It is like a genuine question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that maybe little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you haven’t, there’s some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the room would be marginally better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That will pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I would say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the limits of your being. And I Would say begin where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to fix the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less crap and there’s a great deal less rubbish around it.

A lot fewer traps that you step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and as soon as you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for a decade. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that’s a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You just walk around that and go find something that you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very likely that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, doesn’t mean that it’s you right then and there, that should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just start tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it’s very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a title, a real aim, it’ll reconfigure the entire world in keeping with this goal. That is really how you see to begin with. And so if you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is why you must bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that aim, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you have all seen this video where you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your mind and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the right thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and that means you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too much, you want to bind it with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.