Co Active Leadership Coach

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you even bother improving yourself? And I think the answer to that is some thing like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others do not have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there is a true injunction at the base of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you may say, well, I do not care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And so you do care about, even if it’s only that negative way, you know, it’s very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this sort of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you’re able to repair it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do this in a room. It is quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a room, maybe your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I have to do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It’s not a command. It’s like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s sort of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there are a good thing. And you know, you have not, there is some rubbish behind your computer monitor that you haven’t attended for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you let yourself just to think about the expanse in which you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be for you to arrange your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of thinking about it as in need of repair, you could repair, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life is going to be a whole lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat every day, because people tend to think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines which you go through daily. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they’re mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that’s exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the main things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out right away. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less crap and there is a great deal less rubbish around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting that out, then it is possible to extend what you’re prepared to consider yourself itself and start fixing up the things that are part of your wider extent. Now, sometimes you do not know how to do that. So you might say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there’s this guy who’s like schizophrenia and alcoholic and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could repair it, but you, haven’t got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something you could fix, since if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very likely you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you’re experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You have to have some humility. You know, you don’t walk up to a helicopter that is not working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to stay in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do that at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you have to be real about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you have to get them in your body. So you’re acting consistently. You have to be real about the aim, but as soon as you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that goal, which is extremely strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically correct. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video where you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for about five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you’re able to get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
The way the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you planning at the right thing? Now?

You know, I am not trying to reduce everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People today get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there is a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too much, you need to bind it together with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a terrific thing to ask.