Church Small Group Coach Leadership Development Plan

What could you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question might be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you have to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a true injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-help doctrine. It’s that if you don’t arrange yourself properly, you’ll pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you today, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not correct. You truly do care about that because if you are in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it’s very rare you could find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I was out of this form of pain is one of the things that brings the notion that it would be better if it did not exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there is not any more stupid pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question might be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the answer to this, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It is something like, look around for something which bothers you and see if you’re able to fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you go into, you can do this in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you are sitting in a room like a space, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what do I must do?

And you have to ask yourself this, right? It is not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the room that, you know, like there’s a heap of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there is some rubbish behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the wires, weren’t all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there’ll be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it which you can just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you’re coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be to get you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends on how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you can begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you have your breakfast. You know, you’ve got your routines that you go through every day. Well, those probably constitute 50% of your lifetime. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to listen to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You’ve figured out immediately. So a hundred adjustments to your broader domain of being, and there is a lot less rubbish and there’s a great deal less crap around it.

A lot fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s thought about erasing the dis once you’ve got your mind and your emotions with each other, and once you’re acting out that, then it is possible to extend what you’re willing to consider yourself itself and begin fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you’re walking down Bloor street and there is this guy who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for a decade. He sort of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be useful if you could fix it, but you, have not got a clue about how to repair that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely you will help that person, it’s very probable you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it’s you right then and there, which should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter that isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You need to stay within your domain of competence. But the majority of the time, if people look at their lives, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room because you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you go back to where you live and sit down and think, okay, I will make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it’s partly because your head is a really strange thing. As soon as you give it a name, a genuine aim, it will reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That’s actually how you see to begin with. And so in case you set it a task, especially you’ve got to be real about it, which is why you have to bring your ideas and emotions together. And then you must get them in your body. So you are acting consistently. You have to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the world will reconfigure itself about that aim, which is very strange. And it is, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you see the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black team.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It is like, you know, if you thought about that experiment for around five decades, that would be about the ideal amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that guy, if you can get one thing through your head and as a consequence of even being in college, that would be a good one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you might draw from this is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a very negative manner, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to reduce everybody’s problems to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have injuries, there’s a random element to being that is for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anythingthat particular phrase too far, you need to bind it with the fact that random things do happen to people, but it is still a great thing to ask.