Better Life Coaching Johan Willems

What would you do to improve yourself? Well, let’s step 1 step backwards. The first question may be, why should you bother improving yourself? And I believe the answer to that is something like, so you don’t suffer any more stupidly than you need to. And maybe so others don’t have to either. It’s something like that. You know, like there’s a real injunction at the bottom of it. It’s not some casual self-improvement philosophy. It’s that if you do not arrange yourself properly, you will pay for it and in a significant way. And so will the people around you now, and you could say, well, I don’t care about that, but that’s actually not true. You truly do care about that because if you’re in pain, you will care about it. And that means you do care about, even if it’s just that negative way, you know, it is very rare that you can find someone who’s in excruciating pain who would ever say, well, it would be no better.

If I had been out of this form of pain is one of those things that brings the idea that it would be better if it didn’t exist along with it, it is in controvertible. So you get your act together so that there isn’t any more dumb pain around you than necessary. Well, so then the question may be, well, how would you go about getting your act together? And the reply to that, and this is a phenomenological notion, too. It’s something like, look around for something that bothers you and see if you can fix it. So now you think, well, let’s say, let’s say you enter, you can do it in a room. It’s quite fun to do it. Just when you’re sitting in a room just like a room, possibly your bedroom, you can sit there and just sort of meditate on it and think, okay, if I wanted to spend 10 minutes making this room better, what would I must do?

And you need to ask yourself that, right? It’s not a command. It is like a real question and things will pop out in the area that, you know, just like there’s a stack of papers over there. That’s kind of bugging you. And you know, that perhaps little order there would be a fantastic thing. And you know, you have not, there’s some crap behind your computer screen that you haven’t attended to for like six months. And the space would be slightly better if it was a little less dusty and the cables, were not all tangled up the same way. And like, if you, if you allow yourself just to consider the expanse where you exist at that moment, there will be all sorts of things. That’ll pop out in it that you could just fix. And, you know, I might say, well, if you were coming to see me for psychotherapy, this easiest thing for us to do first would just be for you to organize your room. You think, well, is that psychotherapy? And the answer is, well, it depends upon how you conceive the constraints of your being. And I Would say start where you are able to begin.

You know, If, if something announces itself to you, which is a strange way of considering it as in need of repair, that you could fix, then Hey, fix it. You mend a hundred things like that. Your life will be a lot different. Now, I often tell people to repair the things you repeat daily, because people usually think of these as trivial, right? You get, you brush your teeth, you’ve got your breakfast. You know, you have your routines that you go through every day. Well, those likely constitute 50% of your life. And people think, well, they are mundane. I don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s like, no, no, that is exactly wrong things you do daily. Those are the most important things you do. Hands. All you’ve got to do is do the arithmetic. You have figured out right away. So a hundred alterations to your wider domain of being, and there’s a lot less rubbish and there’s a lot less crap around it.

A good deal fewer traps for you to step into. And so that is in keeping with Ewing’s idea about erasing the dis as soon as you’ve got your mind and your emotions together, and once you’re acting out that, then you can extend what you’re willing to consider yourself and start fixing up the things which are a part of your broader extent. Now, sometimes you don’t know how to do that. So you may say, imagine you are walking down Bloor street and there is this man who’s like alcoholic and schizophrenia and has been on the streets for 10 years. He kind of stumbled towards you and you know, incoherently mutters something, that is a problem. And it would be good if you could repair it, but you, have not got a clue about how to fix that. You simply walk around that and go find something that you could fix, because if you muck about it, that not only is it unlikely that you’ll help that person, it’s very probable that you’ll get hurt yourself.

So, you know, just because while you are experiencing things themselves, as in need of repair, does not mean that it is you right then and there, that should repair them. You must have some humility. You know, you do not walk up to a helicopter which isn’t working and just begin tinkering away with it. You have to remain in your domain of competence. But most of the time, if people look at their lifestyles, you know, it is very interesting thing to do. I liked, I liked the concept of the room as you can do this at the drop of a hat. You know, you return to where you reside and sit down and think, okay, I’m going to make this place better for half an hour.

What should I do If they have to ask And things will just pop up like mad. And it is partly because your head is a very strange thing. The moment you give it a name, a genuine aim, it’ll reconfigure the world in keeping with that aim. That is really how you see to start with. And so if you set it a job, especially you have to be genuine about it, and that’s the reason why you have to bring your thoughts and emotions together. And then you must get them on your body. So you are acting consistently. You’ve got to be genuine about the aim, but once you aim, the entire world will reconfigure itself around that goal, which is very strange. And it’s, it’s, it’s technically true. You know, the best example of that, you’ve all seen this video in which you watch the basketballs being tossed back and forth between members of the white team versus the black group.
And you’re doing that. A gorilla walks up into the center of the video and don’t see it.

It’s like, you know, in case you thought about that experiment for about five years, that would be about the right amount of time to spend thinking about it. Because what it shows you is that you see what you aim at and that man, if you’re able to get 1 thing through your head and as a result of even being in university, that would be a great one. You see exactly what you aim at. And so, because one inference you could draw from that is be careful what you aim at,
Right? It what you aim at determines
How the world manifests itself to you. And so if the world is manifesting itself in a really negative way, one thing to ask is, are you aiming at the perfect thing? Now?

You know, I’m not trying to decrease everybody’s issues to an improper aim. People get cut off at the knees for a variety of reasons. You know, they get sick, they have accidents, there’s a random element to being that’s for sure. But, and so you don’t need to take anything, even that specific phrase too far, you want to bind it together with the fact that arbitrary things do happen to people, but it’s still a great thing to ask.